There is very little time left for me in Vancouver. Less than one week to go. I’ve been trying to catch up with the people I have seen far too little of over the last couple months. Knowledge of the impending trip has made me a little more anti social than usual – this week is the opposite, and I’m busy almost every night this week.
I’ve been trying to decide how I feel about this city and my time here, but I’m lacking perspective I think. Courtenay to Victoria to Vancouver – those are the only cities I’ve come to know really well, but each is on such a different scale that there isn’t much to compare. If this trip works out well, I’ll have a more international outlook and I’ll be able to compare Vancouver to cities that are actually like Vancouver. Maybe then, after some time has passed, my experience here will come more into focus and I’ll know how I feel about the city.
A lot has changed since I’ve been here. I’m more able to stand on my own than when I left the island, I’m more physically fit, I have skills that I didn’t have before – if I work at it, I can even pass for an adult. On those points, it’s definitely been a very positive time with lots of personal growth. However, it’s very hard to meet people here. I’m not sure why that is exactly. I might not be working hard enough or I could just be an odd case (probably the reason), but I haven’t really found many people in Vancouver that I click with and after going through that for the last few years I’m wondering if other cities would be different. I guess I’ll see.
In the book I’m reading right now, a character was describing his earlier life as the world’s best wheelman (he travelled with carnivals, setting up and operating those giant Ferris wheels): when he hurt himself and couldn’t do the work anymore, he spiralled downwards. He lost all his connections with the only world he’d ever known (he thought that was his perfect place and time, the place he really belonged). He became homeless, and a nasty drunk. Even before then he always thought of himself as the lone wolf, he didn’t need anything from anybody. The book is called the Ragged Company and all the members of the Ragged Company have a story and are slowly coming back to a normal-ish life after meeting each other and winning the lottery. Being a part of their little group changed him and the after-effects of the lottery win really accelerated it.
I suppose that travelling is my lottery – it’ll hopefully trigger a bit of a shake-up. Initiate a radical change to my life and wait to see what pops out. I’m anxious though. For no reason I can think of, I’m going for longer and longer walks around Vancouver. Feeling a little nomadic I guess. Last night I took the bus from Commercial down to Kits for no particular reason and walked back to downtown over the Burrard Bridge. Spent a good hour and half walking around.
My living in a few places around Vancouver and walking around a lot should make me a bit of an expert on the city. If that were the case, I should probably have stronger feelings about leaving it. Maybe it’ll hit me later, a few months after I’ve gone.